Behind The Mask

Night is often the time in which to reap our rewards, for true knowing comes in the night. We get to focus more and know our inner selves. In the light there are so many distractions;colors/hues and friends and cups of tea, laughter and gossip, music and noise, but in the darkness of the night there are none. All we feel is our heartbeat. This sure sounds gloomy; sad but it is not meant to be. Silence can be called night, and this can take place during the day or when one is in solitude. Solitude is a state of deeper feelings when our consciousness is gradually taken away. The real “us” is revealed; our secrets and thoughts are laid bare and they stare us in the face. During the daytime I wear mask (some of us do too). I put it on to greet friends, and try to wear it for my families for they are not to know and see the face behind it. It is not always easy for me to do this; I tell you except for those who can conceal their feelings so well that they are used to it. Some times the mask slips a little, and those closest to me see what lies behind it. But not my casual friends and acquaintances. For them I keep it firmly tied in place. It is a smiling mask, others are not to see the pain behind it, they don’t even see the pain at all, and so they are not disturbed by my pain. This means that they can come to me and tell me of their problems easily, and with a clear conscience. This brings to mind the fact that people only allow us see whatever they want us to see in them. Most times we see people and conclude they live perfect lives, that they come from money because they wear the mask so firm that it won’t slip, not even a little. Only special people, psychologists maybe, see behind the mask when it is allowed to slip a little. But when I am in solitary, my mask is taken off and set aside to reveal my real face. Solitude may not be at night or in silence, it could be when I’m in isolation in the midst of crowds too-like passengers on an Elevator- heading in the same direction without any personal interaction. Mostly in public places like churches, parks, and waiting rooms. So I sit and talk with my confidant, with out true countenances showing. The darkness of the night is not something we should shun and avoid, we can learn to love it and feel it. It is felt with our deepest senses. It can give back the most amazing thing, the heartbeat which is one of the strongest of all which keeps us upon this earth. I feel my heartbeat in solitude and in the darkness of the night. Generally when we remove our masks our inner senses awakens…to accept our human frailties….and we appreciate the gift of life: the heartbeat.    

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